Intimacy is a word that gets used very easily but it is only recently that I heard a great way of explaining it. To quote David Sye (Yogabeats) we should separate the word down to ‘into me see’ for we can only be truly intimate when we learn to lower our defences and allow ourself and others to see our true selves. I’m hoping to explore ways we can be intimate with ourselves and learn to be comfortable in who we are. Then we can allow ourselves to be intimate with others more easily. So if you’re coming to yoga classes in Warrington and Cuddington this week then be prepared to spend a few minutes looking inside yourself!!
I am growing more comfortable with admitting my vulnerability, in not trying to be perfect but instead I’m taking more risks with giving more of myself. I am enjoying exploring ways of connecting to the world around me. Real intimacy is neither physical or mental, but somehow on a deeper level. It is an admission to ourselves that we are all connected and part of the universal energy. By connecting to both that energy and to opening to the divinity in others we are able to connect at a much deeper level. Intimacy is not sex..in fact celibacy can allow for greater intimacy as it encourages us to explore less obvious ways of opening our hearts. For to me that is what it requires…an opening not just of arms, or minds but also of hearts.
It seems that intimacy is like love….the more you give out somehow the more you have left for yourself and the more you receive back from the world. It is fabulous to feel the greater connection with people that letting down barriers can allow. In my previous, less spiritually aware, life I thought I was safer to keep up barriers around my heart. That if I didn’t allow people to meet the real me then any judgments they may make were not as important. It felt safer and less vulnerable to keep part of myself locked away. Then again I didn’t like myself so much either in those days..so I had less inclination to allow myself inside too!!
Meditition encourages us to be more comfortable with who we are. A more regular practice has changed me and allowed me a greater comfort deep inside. The inner quiet that we can find, the warm safety of the peace in our own head. The distractions of the world all serve to prevent us returning to deep inside ourselves. When we do we find a great peace, a quietness and a love that we want to share. A deep ‘ready brek’ glow from the same place deep inside which can knot up in fear or insecurity. As though the anxiety melts and we learn that we are all capable of love. Within us all is a fear of vulnerability, an insecurity about how others will judge us. Yet also that these judgments will merely be about what is on the outside anyway so aren’t really important. As Sarah Powers said at a workshop “When you meditate, you’ll see your true nature, and you’ll know that you are perfect just as you are, because you are made from love.”
So somehow, by being less intimate with the world..by keeping up our barriers and not allowing people to ‘into me see’ then we encourage ourselves to be judged on our inperfections rather than our perfection. For by allowing intimacy, by allowing others to connect with our energy, our inner perfection and love, we are actually reducing our vulnerability!!! Isn’t being human a weird learning curve..that often that which scares us the most is what we need to do in order not to be fearful!! “The release from fear is what finally precipitates the full flowering of love. In this state you will love what you see in others, and others will love you for having been seen. This is the softened perception of the world that yoga promotes.” Eric Shiffmann