I met a new student last week who observed that I wasn’t what he had been expecting! He said his image of a yogi was somebody serene and relaxed. My response was that if I was like that then I maybe wouldn’t appreciate the power of potential change by practicing and exploring yoga. I have a busy mind, a mind that constantly observes, interprets and inquires. With the help of a regular yoga practice, I am more able to direct that enquiry inward, or onto study. A stronger more efficient mind allows me to waste less time on stress, on anxiety and allows me more focus, direction & connection to the world around me.
Nowadays I am more able to turn my mind inward. I am able to lose myself in focus; on my breath or in observing the moment. When I practice I feel at peace. A contentment that where I am is where I am supposed to be. That mental enquiry is of my connection to the world rather than a constant business and mish mash of constant thoughts each interrupting the last. I revel in the moments of quiet inside my own head rather than panic at the prospect of peace. I enjoy the thoughts in my mind being more linear & the ability to almost observe them bubbling up from the calm. I would say that not being naturally serene allows me to appreciate more the joy of yoga. The more I learn and explore my practice and observe the results within myself, the more I am able to be a living example that yoga will change it’s student from the inside out. Admittedly my body is stronger, more flexible but more importantly…so is my mind. This allows me to find an ease and a joy in everyday life as both my body and mind work more effectively, more efficiently.
So I suppose I am saying that I may not be a ‘typical yogi’…but what is a typical yogi? I am able to teach because I have myself learnt and explored. I try to be honest, to be open about how yoga provides me with the strength in body and mind to live an easier life. I try and provide an opportunity for students to discover their own inner peace. I try to look underneath the outward impression of a yogi to see what is important. To understand that sitting cross-legged in lotus (padmasana) is not more spiritual than listening to your body- that a alignment of our spine and energy is the aim. That it is not how asana (postures) look but how they feel. That watching a student connect to themselves and their breath is more rewarding than watching a student attain a physical position.
I teach yoga because I feel that if it can allow my mind to still and my body to be more at ease, then it is possible to bring that possibility of ease to other’s lives. I teach because it feels as though it allows me to share my inner smile with the world around me, and maybe allow it to be infectious! My students continue to teach me as I teach them. I hope that I can continue to be me and for my students to enjoy my differences rather than expect me to fit into other people’s expectation