Midlife crisis. .not for me I hope as one would assume with all the looking inward & self-reflection that us yogis do helps to deal with any issues, way before they reach breaking point. However having a new decade on the horizon as I meet my fortieth birthday mid April this year has led me to examine what & where & who are the happiest & proudest moments so far. I am also contemplating where I want to be heading for the next forty years.
It sometimes feels as though we don’t really know ourselves until our thirties. When I spend time with people younger than thirty I am often aware of how much more things matter to them. It can appear as though their lives roll from chaos to stress with very little responsibility or appreciation for their youth or freedom. Obviously this does not apply to everyone but I am often reminded that, for myself, my twenties were the time I thought I knew everything & that everything mattered so much. From what I wore, or did for a career to where I holidayed!
I have been happier through my thirties as I accepted who I am and what makes my eyes sparkle, rather than trying to fit or shape myself into the expectations of others or society. However this doesn’t mean I don’t wince when my father enquiries about me getting a ‘real job’ or yet another person makes a joke about yoga teachers being flexible enough to put their feet behind their heads. Apart from those small glitches I would say I have made some good choices along the way to get me to where I am today.
I feel my thirties were the decade where I learnt how strong I could be, how my inner resources were greater than I had realized. I learnt that following a path that gave me purpose & passion made me happier than any amount of financial success ever had. I have learnt that the friends I have are important, my partner has to be someone I respect, and that family are always at the end of the phone when you’ve made a poor decision.
I can see now that falling short in life is more likely to happen when we forget to listen to ourselves but listen to others. Or when we loose faith in our intuition or dreams and allow them to be trodden down by society or negativity. I may not have a huge house, but its warm cozy and easy to clean with a better view (the river) than any of the huge houses I have been in recently! I take holidays when & where I choose & spend my free time as & how I fancy. I am not restricted by expectation or ambition to follow a narrow path, but can choose to divert my path when I choose (as I do often). My partner is by my side & supportive, my family accepting & sometimes even understanding! My little dog is my best friend, loving & faithful and will hopefully share much of my forties with me. Hence generally I feel I am in a very good place.
So what more can we ask from an evaluation of where we are in life but the appreciation of what & who we have now, the freedom to know we are supported on our journey & that the path we choose is not restrictive but is open to flexibility & choice. Yoga brings us the ability to be flexible not just on our mat but in our daily life. I feel my future opens welcomingly ahead into a sunny horizon I hope that my next decade brings me good health, much happiness & lessons that aren’t too painful in their learning. Plus lots of yoga & sunshine please…life always feels brighter in the sunshine!