Sometimes we need reminding about what matters. Structure may become habits, awareness can easily become numbness.we can become fearful of feeling and being alive and therefore restrict our capacity to love, to feel joy and to live in the moment. we can easily allow the past to create memories that then dictate a potential future where we repeat our past.If the mind isn’t busy re living memories maybe it is wandering onto a constant stream of potential fears about the future. We need to find the place between …to stay in the moment.
However this requires discipline, sometimes not the easiest thing to acquire. However Discipline should be seen as a way to contain rather than to restrain. A way of learning to focus the Prana…the movement of energy. It is this containment of Prana, movement, which allows the mind to still and to stay in the moment.in fact it is often this containment of the movements of the mind (thoughts) which are the focus of a spiritual practice. Choosing to live in the moment is to focus on the pause, the stillness.
For me personally so much of my spiritual journey has been about exploring the pause. The pause, kumbakha, between breaths. Learning to pause before I jump into a situation feet first. Learning to slow and pause within my practice on the mat, and then learning to extend that off the mat. The stillness and quietness that I found in the pause after the exhale is still my favourite place to reside and indulge. A place where it feels as though the world pauses to listen, where thoughts still and an awareness of happiness can be found.
I think that is one of the things yoga has taught me, the discipline of slowing down. To dawdle and meander and enjoy each moment. To have the discipline to maintain a practice and find time to pause in every day. Discipline…the mere notion of which often has negative connections. However the avoidance of self discipline is often taking you further from freedom, not closer. The term discipline has origins in the Latin disciplina….to enlighten or impart knowledge! To have an un disciplined mind is to have a mind that jumps from past memories to future worries often without the pause for the present moment.
I am learning to enjoy such discipline. To find the freedom in the discipline of daily practice.To notice how the indulgent stillness in the pauses we find within our practice, within each breath, are mirrored by a learning to indulge in a practice of being. Being rather than continually doing, a necessary pause within the business of each day. I have noticed that the more I pause, the more I notice. The more I notice, the more I realise the stillness is always there, it’s just that we hide it with movement, with thoughts, with doing, with distractions.
That which does not change, the connection to the stillness, is the potential for happiness. Last week I allowed myself to neglect my practice for four days…and this lack of discipline had the effect of making me feel restricted by worries, impaled by fears and the unhappiness of a constantly moving mind. To be reminded of what it’s like to live within a puppy mind which is untrained and undisciplined was not an enjoyable experience! Maybe I needed to let go of the self discipline, just for a few days. If only to realise and understand that I need the discipline of a regular practice to obtain a freedom of mind. It is useful to remember that habits and structure are often established for good reasons!
I was reminded why i need the discipline of a regular practice. That for me, happiness is discipline and enough pauses to remind me that the happiness and peacefulness are always there just waiting for me to quieten down, to pause and to notice 🙂
